9 Things that I have had to let go of during quarantine.

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When we first went onto lockdown in March, I was dead set and stubborn about holding onto the way that I had seen and done things before. As I mentioned in my latest article, quarantine has been the most challenging time of my life and I have had to re-evaluate everything in my life. 

Right before quarantine, I pulled a tarot oracle card that said, ‘What are you clinging on to!’ I knew deep down that I had been holding on to a way of thinking that was unsustainable: one that meant I over-apologized, was concerned more of outward appearances and one that has left me depleted in loving relationships because I swallowed what I had to say to make sure that I wasn’t left alone or hurt anyone’s feelings.  

Through this challenging time, I have let go of a few things so that I rid myself of my self-inflicting pain. Here are nine of them: 

1. That jobs provide emotional security.

2. That others need to accept me before I accept myself. 

3. That I am able to control everything. 

4. That I know what the future will hold. 

5. That tomorrow is guaranteed or will look how it has looked before. 

6. That I have to surround myself with people who insist on correcting me, putting me into a box and shunning me. 

7. The idea that if I am alone then I am lonely. 

8. That it’s ever too late to do anything about something I want to change. 

9. That God has given up on me. 

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9 Choses que j'ai dû admettre quand j'ai décidé de guérir.

La guérison est un processus et un voyage à vie. Je ne suis pas ici pour vous dire que je sais tout et que je suis meilleur que vous. Je suis humain et, tout comme vous, j'ai eu des hauts et des bas. C'est la vie et je questionne quiconque pense le contraire. Cette dernière année a été l'une des périodes les plus révélatrices et guérissantes de ma vie parce que j'ai découvert des schémas abusifs dans les relations, les familles et les situations de travail.

Avec cette décision de guérir vient le moment où je devais être honnête avec moi-même sur tout, mon passé, le présent et ce que je veux pour l'avenir.

Voici 9 choses que je devais m'avouer lorsque j'ai décidé de guérir:

1. Vous pourriez vous retrouver seul la plupart du temps mais vous n'êtes pas seul. Dieu est avec toi.

2. Certaines personnes peuvent devenir jalouses et penser que vous allez mieux, mais c'est leur projection.

3. Vous éprouverez beaucoup de regrets du passé sur la façon dont vous avez géré certaines choses, pardonnez-vous.

4. Vous ne voudrez peut-être pas faire le travail, mais cela rapporte toujours.

5. L'intention ne suffit pas. Nos actions doivent également correspondre à notre intention.

6. Vous pourriez perdre des amis et des membres de la famille pour différentes raisons. Tout le monde n'est pas censé vous accompagner là où vous allez. C'est d'accord.

7. La croissance n'est pas pour les timides et irrationnels.

8. Les gens qui veulent vous faire taire ne vous méritent pas.

9. Respirez et pardonnez. Pardonnez-vous, aux autres et à tout ce qui vous entrave. Vous méritez la liberté et cela vient une fois que vous avez été honnête avec vous-même.

9 Things that I am learning and re-learning at this time.

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It has been an interesting past few weeks. I have had my ups-and-downs and have had to surrender some things that I thought I knew. I had no idea that I had been clinging on to some beliefs that I no longer needed or needed to restart and God blessed me with the perfect time to do so. 

I offer my condolences to those who have lost their lives, lost loved ones or are in financial ruin at this time. What I have learnt and re-learnt has nothing to do with that. This is my journey apart from that at this time. 

Here are 9 Things that I am learning and re-learning at this time: 

1. It doesn’t matter what has broken you. It only matters that you put yourself together. We are not meant to be broken, we are meant to be whole. 

2. Wherever we go, there will be negativity. But good always wins. 

3. Sometimes you have to fight for your life and for what is right, over and over again. 

4. Judgement can be helpful as long as it doesn’t consume us with hate. 

5. Love takes many forms. 

6. There is always light. Even if it is a crack, focus on the light. 

7. When you shine bright, darkness will try to live off of that light. Protect your light. 

8. Simplicity is usually where our biggest and most prolific answers lie. 

9. We don’t know it all and are not meant to.

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15 reasons to forgive

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Every three months, I take a yoga challenge. I practice hot yoga for thirty consecutive days and I also give myself thirty reasons to forgive.

Here are fifteen of my favourite from my last challenge:

1. I forgive because holding onto judgements about myself and others only shackles my mind and soul to negativity.

2. I forgive because I want to remember more than what has been done wrong to me.

3. I forgive because we are all humans. Counting what is wrong with others will only bring me down, how long can I keep fighting for?

4. I forgive because I am not a victim. Anything that has been done to me was not under my control.

5. I forgive because I will not allow negative people and negative situations to have a hold over my life.

6. I forgive because today is too beautiful to be spent judging and scrutinizing people around me.

7. I forgive because if I don't move past offense, I will drive myself crazy.

8. I forgive because I don't expect people to be kind, I merely appreciate those who are. The only way that I can appreciate those who are kind, is by forgiving those who are unkind.

9. I forgive because what has happened, has happened. It is time to let it go.

10. I forgive because in this imperfect human body I am in no state to hold anything against anyone.

11. I forgive because I can't expect others to live by my expectations.

12. I forgive because I can't re-write the past and I don't want to.

13. I forgive because my sense of peace is not worth sacrificing over something that happened in the past.

14. I forgive because I want to wish others well- including those who have hurt me.

15. I forgive because I want to have hope. Hope is not obtained by holding onto what has gone wrong

To my high school bullies, this is why I forgive you.

I  hated school. I absolutely hated it. I hated getting up five mornings of the week to hear a bell, to learn some things that I mostly wasn't interested in and to hear a few teachers tell me that I wasn't going to succeed at anything in my life. 

I did have some wonderful teachers and, for the most part, a healthy school environment. However, I found that having to see some of the people who bullied me- including some teachers- everyday angered me. 

I spent a lot of time actively being angry because when I voiced my opinions, it wasn't always received well. 

Well, bullies, this one is for you. These are the reasons why I forgive you and I send you love:

1. My life doesn't belong to you. 

The past has been left in the past and, it is important to acknowledge that. If I held on to what has been done to me, I would never progress. My life is in my (and the creator's) hands- not yours. I can't keep repeating how you have treated me in my head because my life is mine- not yours. You don't get that much power over me. 

2. I understand you. 

Now that I am an adult, I can see that only hurt people can hurt others. I understand that to have continuously hurt another, you were not well. In order to heal this world, I cannot hold any resentments against you because you didn't know the outcome of your behaviour and so I forgive you. 

3. Any hate that I feel for you is wasted. 

Like Ghandi said, 'An eye for an eye leaves the world blind.' If I plot and scheme against you, I contribute to the problem not the solution. It is challenging to send you love because of our past but sending love always feels better than hating. 

4. You helped me and I am grateful. 

I spent many years wishing that you didn't exist but the truth is that you do. And, your behaviour toward me has strengthened me. So instead of wishing you ill and regretting the day that you were born, I am grateful because you helped me deal with the many critics that I have encountered in my life after you. Because if I could deal with you, when I was the most vulnerable, the critics are merely ashes compared to your fire.

 

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