3 Things that I wish I’d known before my emotional healing process.

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When I look back at the beginning of my emotional healing process, it consciously began in 2012. I was in a toxic relationship with a man who was going through a divorce and all that I could do was think about him and wonder when he would be with me because he was my dream man. 

Ironically, my fear of losing him evaporated after I was almost arrested for being drunk and disorderly in August, 2012. After being saved by three random people who came by the cab that night, I made a promise to God that I would finally do the work that I had been avoiding. It was clear that my toxic thoughts and actions had led me down a path to a man that didn’t really care about me, a career path that was inauthentic and, a lifestyle that had me exhausted and wishing to be living in someone else’s skin. 

When I made this promise to Our Higher Source, I said that no matter how hard it was, I was going to pull through and be a better version of myself. Who knew that this path would have made me a Yoga Teacher, Spiritual Coach and Business woman? 8 years later and I am grateful for ever step of the way. 

Here are 3 things that I have learnt and wish I had known before I started my emotional healing process: 

1. We all have memories that eat us up but how can we empower ourselves through these memories. 

During my first awakening in 2012, when I decided to surrender my life to God and Source, I had left my boyfriend who was going through a divorce. I previously mentioned how he and I would drink a lot together and on the night that I was almost arrested, I had been with him beforehand. The majority of our relationship was drinking and being verbally abusive with one another. I thought that it was okay to have a relationship where we create intense toxicity, in the name of passion. 

After I made a promise to God, I stopped drinking for a while and began a 30-day hot yoga challenge where I practiced hot yoga everyday. Many people thought that I was crazy and wondered what was wrong with me. However, as I shed physical weight, I also shed mental and emotional weight. I was done carrying the burden of hate and unforgiveness.

I noticed that the situation I had been in with that boyfriend was similar to the one that I had had with my father. Both would come and leave as they pleased, both were successful CEOs and lacked emotional intelligence but made up for it with materials and compliments. I specifically remember a memory (when I was a kid) of being next to my Dad and feeling how much emptiness was between us even though we were next to one another. 

As an adult, I made a choice to forgive my father for being a victim of and accentuating the role of toxic masculinity where putting up walls is more beneficial than letting people in. When I first had memories like this, I would cry from my soul but I knew that that was healing taking place. I had to release my past to move forward with my life. And, forgiveness was essential- to myself and to others. 

2. It gets worse before it gets better. 

I had no idea that I was capable of having a life that is loving and genuinely kind. When I started my emotional healing process, I knew that the past would try to grip me and take me under its wing but I saw right through it. I knew that there was a rainbow (figuratively) on the other side. 

Before I made a conscious decision to be kind, loving and focus on the negative, I found myself in looping ideas that would manifest into my life. I would end up dating the same kind of person, have the same type of friend and resist the idea of change- which is inevitable. I was stuck. 

I am a firm-believer that everything is happening for us but it might not be how you want it to be. Just because it doesn’t present itself to you this way doesn’t mean that it is not for your benefit. 

Just because I decided to heal moving forward in 2012, doesn’t mean that my life miraculously becomes better because; that is not the human experience. We are meant to grow through circumstances and what we go through. However, our mindset can create trauma and have an effect on our physical and mental well-being. 

Victimizing ourselves reminds us that we are victims; however, empowering thoughts remind us of our authentic power that no one can take away form us, no matter what we face or go through. 

3. Healing is not about money or anyone else. 

Like many others, I began healing with this idea that there are levels of healing and that I would present myself to others as a good person if I appeared to be enlightened. 

But, this is where The Ego loves to reside- in levels, monetary worth and hierarchy. We are all on our own mission. My mission is very different to yours, which is okay. I am very wary of people who create a façade of telling others what healing should feel like and that there is an outcome because everyone encounters their own experiences. 

Ultimately, we can influence each other by sharing our stories but forcing another to feel what we have felt through awakening or healing is counteractive to true healing. 

12 Things that I would rather be called other than mean.

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We all have faced some harshness and unkindness in our lives. I used to believe that this was normal so I was unkind and accepted behaviour in my life that was not positive, affirming and reassuring. 

Who knows why I used to settle for less than I deserved but I see it all around- people accepting unkindness and mean-spiritedness when we shouldn’t. About 4 years ago, I went through a culmination of different events that changed my perception of how I approach people and what I wanted to project to the world. Ever since then, I made a promise to myself to practice kindness as much as possible. I don’t always get it right but that doesn’t mean that I stop trying. 

Here are 12 things that I would rather be as opposed to mean: 

1. Kind.

2. Understanding.

3. Compassionate. 

4. Mature. 

5. Fulfilled. 

6. Loving. 

7. Happy. 

8. Joyful. 

9. Playful. 

10. Honest. 

11. Aligned. 

12. Purposeful. 

9 Things that I know for sure about haters.

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We have all been, are or know someone who is a hater. Someone who is attracted to drama, loves to complain, is insecure or doesn’t believe in being positive. I have been both the hater and have come into contact with other people who have hated. Only to realize that when I was a hater, it had nothing to do with anyone else but me. I had some serious healing- which I did and am still doing. 

The biggest shift that I had which took me out of a low-vibrational frequency of negativity was to understand and know that I am love and am worthy of anything that I have ever wanted, and so is everyone else. There is enough for everyone so I don’t have to be jealous and angry when someone else is doing well or is thriving.

Whenever I encounter a hater these days, I try to practice compassion because I know what it feels to be in that position. I have learnt that I can still have my boundaries up and practice compassion from a distance because how they behave has nothing to do with me. Being hateful is a symptom of lack of self-awareness, kindness, understanding, compassion and empathy. 

Here are 9 things that I am sure of about haters: 

1. We have all been a hater at some point in our lives. 

2. Living life from a negative point of view only affects the person who sees it this way. 

3. Stepping out of a hateful mindset takes worth and effort but the end result is worth it. 

4. Hateful people are suffering and want to spread that feeling to others. 

5. Some people don’t mean well for you. 

6. Haters are only at war with themselves. 

7. You will never win an argument or situation with someone who is dead set on being negative. Sometimes the best boundary is distance and letting go. 

8. We can influence haters but it is up to them to change. 

9. It is okay and beneficial to put up boundaries towards people who don’t mean well for you. 

4 Ways that we can heal from our generational past trauma.

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To me, life is about growth and healing. Our purpose here is to be used up when we die and sometimes that is messy. Often, we have this idea that things need to be easy and smooth; however, that is not true. It’s time for us to acknowledge that a lot of life is about accepting, healing and moving forward from the past. And, until we face this, we will continue to live in a survival state of being. 

Whether you have read about it from a scientific, metaphysical, religious or cultural perspective- things are shifting energetically. And, unless we create healthy habits, what happened in the past could happen again. I believe that generationally with social media and technology, authenticity and the truth is being brought to light so that we can take action to progress moving forward. As the human race, we will not survive the way we have survived before, we need a different approach. One that is not only conscious but also devotion-orientated. Not only for us but for the generations coming after. I am grateful for the generations before who made us physically strong to protect our DNA by activating our survival mode. However, if we continue to live life this way, we will either suffer mentally or physically. There is evidence all around us that we need to elevate ourselves so that we can raise our consciousness. 

It’s easy to say that we need to heal the past. But, what I have learnt is that most people don’t because they don’t know how or they are comfortable in toxicity. So, as I have healed and continue to heal past generational trauma, I am here to recommend some ways that might help you: 

1. See things from a place of compassion. Sometimes when I think about history, I become mad and wonder why so many people continue the cycles of racism, narcissism, xenophobia and other toxic habits that the human race has practiced throughout history. And then I remember, these ways of life can be argued historically as a way to keep their own race from dying. I am not a historian but as someone whose family has been heavily affected by The Racist South African Apartheid, I know what it is like to be hated because of my race. The truth is that unless you live in the middle of nowhere, racism and classism affects you in some shape, form or manner. I was born into a South African family during Apartheid and sometimes I downplay how separation affected my family but then I remember the stories about how some of my family was segregated from one another because they were different races from one another.

That trauma I have subconsciously carried, whether I have been aware of it or not. It was only until recently when I realized that I had pent up anger towards European culture and felt derogatory towards African culture. Examples of this is when people have  ignorantly asked me if I am mixed because I am light and have freckles, I would become angry because this history comes with a part of my identity that is heavy and involves hardship, killing and a part of life that I never wanted to admit. Another example of this is that I went to a British school and felt above my family who didn’t because people treat me differently when they hear my accent. 

Honestly, it has been heavy to accept this and other ideas of my generational past; however, it is imperative. Until I was aware of my actions, I could not make the next step. Which, for me, was forgiving racist people and not being as affected when people make racist remarks at me or to other people. I am learning that some people, including myself, are not aware if they are being ignorant or racist. Speaking to people from a place of compassion is important, especially people who are unaware of their behaviour. I don’t always get it right but I am practicing it and perfect this one day. 

2. Leave the material hamster race behind. 

Whether we like to admit or not, we live in a fear-based society. An extension of this is how we have a tendency to hold on to materials, money and have a need to be tied to people and things as long as they help us advance our social status; even if it means staying in an unhealthy situation. I used to be a manager of a restaurant in TriBeCa, N.Y.C. and, I had to drink everyday to get through a shift. Although I loved my staff dearly, I disliked The Owner because he was a clear narcissist and abusive personality. Just like with everything else, I learnt many lessons from this situation. One of them being that I will never ever sacrifice my mental health and well-being for a job ever again. 

You see, I ended up taking the job because I was a server at the restaurant beforehand and felt like I could fit the role of a leader at the establishment, so I applied for a promotion. This new title also came with benefits. Of which, The Owner had lied to me about when I started my new role. I took this as a sign to resign and find another job because he showed me that my well-being was not in his hands, it was in mine. It is up to every single one of us who are able to make these adjustments so that we elevate ourselves and others. It’s scary to leave our security blanket of a job or romantic situation that we know nothing good or healthy is coming from but in order to reach our full potential, we need to. Dreams do not flourish in fear; they thrive in circumstances of trust, by leaping forward and leaving what we don’t need behind. 

3. Take responsibility for your life. 

No family is perfect and they are not meant to be. I spent a lot of my early twenties blaming the fact that I went to a private British school for a lot of my problems. I felt like going to a school like that set me back from being my authentic self because I felt restricted and restrained a lot of the time. One day, I read a quote by The Dalai Lama, it implied that we don’t know the beginning of anger but we do know when it will stop and it is when we choose for it to not longer control our lives. 

This enlightened me and it was the first step to understanding and recognizing that by blaming my past, I was only robbing myself of my present and future. You see, I had thought that if I continue the judgement against all those who mistreated me, it would help me- only to understand that it was hindering me. 

Sometimes people will treat you in a nasty and unjust way but if you continue to blame them, it is having an effect on you (still).

Acknowledgement and blame are two different things, the first comes from a place of wanting the past to change and the latter accepts that everything is exactly how it is meant to be. You can still take responsibility for your life, not be happy with your past and use what you have seen or what has been done to you as a reason to grow and become healthier than what you are leaving behind you. 

4. Let your guard down. 

I come from a family of strong women and tend to surround myself with these type of females because it inspires me and helps me grow. What I recently noticed about being a tough woman is that I have difficulty trusting men. I’m not sure when I created a false mantra that men were intimidated by strong women when I know many men who love and adore women who can challenge them. 

When we stereotype and group people together, it only hinders us because it colours our lens and allows people into our lives that we wouldn’t necessarily have done if we had chosen a different belief instead. After my last relationship, I chose to believe that there are all kinds of men and the ones that I choose to have in my life are those who appreciate strong women, who compliment my strength; instead of trying to dumb me down or block my shine. I also learnt that trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship and if I go into one thinking that I am alone, I will be alone. Healthy relationships make space for one another to be both separate and together at different phases and times. 

The 3 Things that I have learnt about users disguised as fake friends.

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Last year, 2019, was a monumental year. I went through one of the most transformative times in my life that came to me in the form of hardship. I began and ended a toxic relationship that highlighted how I had allowed unaccaptable behaviour in my life. 

This type of behaviour was not only in romantic relationships but also in friendships. Before I decided to acknowledge my own allowance, I allowed basically anyone into my life as a friend. Truthfully, I didn’t have enough confidence and trust in my intuition to acknowledge that I deserved friends who were sincere, kind, genuine, supportive and cared about my well-being. 

I am in a great place now with relationships and I feel fully supportive. I have gotten to this place by letting go of people who are the antithesis of what I want from a friend. 

Through this journey, I have learnt a few things about people who use friendship as a place to merely take from others. Here is 3 of them:

1. Their actions will show you that they don’t really care about you.

I recently let go of the last friend that wasn’t supportive towards me. I did so because when I would tell her stories about my former partner, she would defend him and gaslight me for how I felt. I couldn’t get a full sentence in without her telling me to give him the benefit of the doubt. In addition, when I befriended my ex in the recent past, she said that he was a nice friend to have, implying this because he is a successful DJ and Producer. 

That comment disappointed me because she knew how toxic his behaviour was towards me and didn’t even care if being friends with him would affect my overall well-being. My last straw was when I recently saw her and she was happy to tell me how she was; however, when I started speaking about myself, she looked at her phone and was completely unbothered by what I was saying. I asked if she could hear me and it became apparent to me that she wasn’t listening and had no desire to listen to me or genuinely ask how I am doing. 

I took this as a sign, before I would’ve questioned myself. But now, I listen to that inner voice that highlights people’s actions. She was only interested in our friendship because of who I was dating and now that I am single, she has disappeared. When I ask her where she has been or tell her that I feel like she is only around for her own interest, she makes up excuses for why she hasn’t been around. However, genuine friends are supportive throughout every season and don’t defend the person who is causing you pain. I have a wonderful group of amazing friends that I would prefer to focus on because I deserve relationships that thrive. 

2. They make you feel crazy for feeling how you feel. 

Have you ever been positive gaslighted? When you are going through something and a friend will tell you a generic saying like, ‘Well, it is what it is.’, ‘Be positive about it!’ Or, ‘You’ve got this!’ I used to think that someone telling me this meant that they cared; only to understand that sometimes when someone is not being genuine, they will throw out phrases to make it seem like they are so that they can keep using you or not take responsibility for their own actions. The common thread of the friends that I have disconnected from is that I didn’t feel their genuine love, I could tell that they weren’t listening when I was telling them stories or when I needed them, they were nowhere to be found. 

Friends should be there for the ups-and-downs; not only when they have to something to get from it. 

3. It is up to themselves to change their own behaviour. 

When I confronted these friends, I was met with phrases that made it seem like I am the drama. However (afterwards) they would say things like, ‘I wish you would’ve told me how you felt.’ Or, a fake apology where they say sorry at the moment and then keep behaving the same way. 

In a nutshell, people who use others might or might not be aware of what they are doing but it is not our jobs to figure this out. All that we can do is set our boundaries and if we get pushback or fake apologies, we focus on friendships and relationships that support us and make us feel loved. It is not our job to force people to change. We are all responsible for our lives and if people don’t take responsibility for their actions, we can’t make them. 

12 Affirmations that I want to remind myself of in 2020.

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Alas, it is 2020! The last decade, particularly last year, has been filled with many lessons and blessings. I am grateful for every single thing and person in my life because they have either taught me something or supported me in my growth.

This year, in spiritual numbers is calculated to 22. Which is a master number. The number 22 is associated with bringing manifestations into fruition. In order to do that, one must stay positive and in the right direction.

So, to make sure that I do, here are 12 affirmations to support that:

1. I am worthy of love.

2. I am worthy of time and affection.

3. I stand in my light.

4. I am light.

5. I am capable of creating a healthy life.

6. I progress from old patterns and create new ones.

7. I choose peace.

8. I take responsibility for my life and my past.

9. I am co-creating my life.

10. I am conscious and stand in purpose.

11. I am abundant.

12. I spread love and receive love.

12 Affirmations pour vous protéger contre les vampires énergétiques, les narcissiques et les personnalités abusives.

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C’est une belle période de l’année et alors que beaucoup d’entre nous célèbrent, certains d’entre nous traînent peut-être plus avec leurs proches. Se réunir avec des êtres chers peut être amusant, mais parfois, cela peut être épuisant.

Dans chaque groupe de personnes, il y a des gens qui ont de bonnes intentions et ceux qui n'en ont pas. Si vous êtes quelqu'un qui apporte la vie et la lumière, vous remarquerez peut-être des gens qui viennent vous voir pour votre temps parce que vous le donnerez. Cependant, ce n'est pas parce que vous êtes léger que vous devez toujours le partager. Vous pouvez en garder pour vous et vous protéger des personnes qui veulent votre lumière.

Voici 12 affirmations pour vous protéger des personnes qui veulent voler votre lumière:

1. Je suis une bonne personne.

2. Je peux parfois dire «non».

3. J'ai de bonnes intentions.

4. L'opinion de quelqu'un sur moi est une opinion.

5. Je donne à ceux qui me rendent.

6. Je suis ma propre source d'énergie.

7. Je me remplis d'amour et d'affection.

8. J'en ai assez.

9. Je me valide.

10. Je peux en influencer un autre mais je ne peux pas en sauver un autre.

11. Je donne du respect aux autres et je retrouve le respect.

12. La vérité est ma fondation.

Izinto eziyi-12 engifuna ukuzinika zona izikweletu (ngo-2019).

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Kuliqiniso, ngizwe ukudana okuthile ngendlela abantu abambalwa abasabela ngayo ekuthembekeni kwami ​​maqondana nalokho engikukho kulo nyaka. Ngemuva kokudlulela kokuningi, ngibone 'ukukhanyisa igesi okuningi' ngezindlela, 'ungakhathazeki, izinto ziba ngcono', 'gcina indlela evumayo' noma, 'ungayenza!'

Ngiyazi ukuthi le mishwana isho kahle; noma kunjalo, ngenze konke okusemandleni ngaphansi kwalezi zimo ngamathuluzi enginikezwe wona. Ngakho-ke, ukuzwa lokho okudingeka ngisebenzele kukho lapho sengithulule inhliziyo yami, ngizwe njengokushaya ngempama ebusweni.

Angicabangi ukuthi noma yimuphi walaba bantu usho ukungathandeki; Ngicabanga ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi ukulalela kungcono kunokuhlala ufuna ikhambi. Kwesinye isikhathi, sishesha kakhulu ukuthola isisombululo size sikhohlwe ngozwela nomusa. Kunezikhathi lapho ukulalela kuyindlela ephezulu kakhulu yothando.

Ngenxa yokuzizwa ngale ndlela, nginqume ukubheka ngaphakathi ngizinike udumo ebengilubheke ngaphandle. Noma kungaba kuhle ukuthola izikweletu kwabanye; uma ngingazinikeli mina, akukho phuzu uma ubheka abanye ngayo.

Nazi izinto eziyi-12 engifuna ukuzinika zona izikweletu (ngo-2019):

1. Ukushiya ubuhlobo obunobuthi ngomzimba nangengqondo enempilo.

2. Okokuvuka nsuku zonke.

3. Okokwenza ukubeka phambili phambili.

4. Ngokuzama ukubona ukuhlangana kwesiliva ezimeni eziningi.

5. Ngokukhala kwesinye isikhathi.

6. Okokumomotheka kwesinye isikhathi.

7. Okokulalela umuzwa wami.

8. Ukuze ungalilahli ithemba.

9. Okokugcina umzimba uphilile.

10. Yami (cishe) umkhuba we-yoga nsuku zonke.

11. Ngokuqala ipulatifomu ye-Wellness.

12. Ngokuzikhumbuza ngalokho okufanele ngiziqhenye ngakho.

Yini ozinikeza yona? Yenza uhlu bese ulithumela nge-imeyili ku-info@biologiquelife.com ezothunyelwa.

12 Reasons why I am grateful to be alive today.

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It is important to re-centre our minds and focus on positivity sometimes. Particularly, when we feel down. I first started daily affirmations six years ago and, it felt like I was being corny or a phony when I would speak these words of life into me. 

I came to realize that feeling this was way was just my Ego. And by speaking Affirmations into my life everyday, it elevates my consciousness and creates a belief system of positivity that is being stored in the muscle memory of my brain. 

Here are 12 reasons why I am happy to be alive today (my daily affirmation):

1. I am able. 

2. I am alive. 

3. I am strong. 

4. I have been gifted with another day to enjoy. 

5. The sun is shining. 

6. My body is functioning. 

7. I can open my eyes. 

8. There are many more reasons to be happy than not. 

9. I have everything that I could possibly need. 

10. I am at peace. 

11. I am surrounded by love. 

12. I am love.

How to take care of oily skin

The last article that we published on skincare, was about dealing with dry skin. 

This week, we reveal ways to take care of oily skin.

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Seborrhea is the clinical term for excessively oily skin. Acne is usually a result of oily skin, with the combination of lack of sufficient skincare and hygiene. 

Many people have acne and it is said to be one of the worst skin conditions as it becomes almost viral and, can infect most of your face once you start developing it because bacteria spreads rapidly. 

If you have acne and oily skin, please apply these skin habits to your skin and watch your skin decrease the amount of oil it has, clear up and glow in 28 days. (Remember, that skin cells replenish in a month.)

1. Drink more water

I often find myself repeating this over and over; however, it is true. As a skin specialist, I recommend drinking more water as, oily skin in most cases- unless you have an autoimmune skin disorder- is caused by having dry skin. It sounds crazy, I know. However, if your skin has been dry for a long period of time, it will become oily as a way for your skin cells to stay moisturized. Drinking at least 1.5 litres of water a day will help you internally re-hydrate the cells of your skin, resulting in less production of oil on your skin.

2. Use products that contain Tea Tree oil. 

Tea Tree oil has been used for centuries to treat skin conditions, particularly acne-prone skin. What is so great about Tea Tree oil, also known as  Melaleuca alternifolia, is that it is anti-viral and anti-bacterial. It is able to counteract acne because acne is a bacteria that grows on your skin and spreads rapidly. A healthy clean diet and water helps, however, bacteria needs an anti-bacterial to decrease it's growth. Tea Tree oil is great because it is a natural oil that is not extreme, like some of these other acne medications. 

3. Exercise and eat less sugar and oily foods.

The body is a beautiful and smart machine. What you put into it, you will get back. If you have oily skin, I recommend laying off of sugary drinks, unhealthy snacks and foods with saturated fats. Many studies have directly linked acne to excess sugar and dairy consumption. In addition, it is important to exercise for clear skin because as you exercise, you flush out excess toxins and oils that can create skin problems.

Brought to you by KindGirlco.

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