What it took to get to me-September 2020

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It took me admitting that I have had unnecessary expectations for myself and others, to get to me. 

It took me understanding that lusting and crushes are not real love, to get to me. 

It took me being at peace with myself, to get to me. 

It took me letting go of blaming every man alive for some who have been misguided, to get to me. 

It took me surrendering my heart, soul and body to God, to get to me. 

It took me accepting that intuition is real, to get to me. 

It took me letting go of the need to compete with another woman for a man’s attention, to get to me. 

It took me understanding the power of forgiveness, to get to me. 

It took me accepting that health in relationships is attractive, to get to me. 

9 Reasons why I forgive my Mother.

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We spend a lot of emphasis, as a society, on forgiving our Father’s; however, little on forgiveness towards our Mother’s. I am not here to write something hateful but a piece that is truthful. Truth is love. 

I would be lying if I said that I felt completely supported and loved by Mother but it has taken me maturing to understand that how she loved me and raised me is between her and God. 

Through forgiveness, I can let go of the direct and indirect pain caused by her towards me as a child so that I can discontinue the hurt that was created. 

Mother’s are human and just like other humans, they deserve forgiveness, too. 

Here are 9 Reasons I forgive my Mother: 

1. I forgive her because she knew not what did/ does. 

2. I forgive her because I choose to love her from a distance. 

3. I forgive her because even though how I was raised created trauma; it was intended that way so that I could heal from it and help others do the same. 

4. I forgive her because I have the real power over my life. 

5. I forgive her because I can’t hold her hostage for the rest of my life for past wrongdoing. 

6. I forgive her because there is enough hate in the world already. 

7. I forgive her because my healing is my responsibility. 

8. I forgive her because hating her will only affect me. 

9. I forgive her because I deserve true and love  peace within my heart. 

3 Things that I wish I’d known before Quarantine.

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If someone would’ve told me that this year would be how it has been a year ago, I would laugh at them and tell them that they are insane. This year, I have flown to five countries, worked full-time about two months of the six months and, have had my life as I knew it before all this happened ripped out from underneath my feet. In a nutshell, it has been a rollercoaster. 

I went to South Africa for my birthday and to see friends and family in February. And, while I was there, I felt like an outsider. I was grateful to be in Africa but for the first time, I felt like South Africa was not my home and I wondered why. On my way back to Los Angeles, I was so happy to be back in The United States of America. I felt home. I had never ever felt like this in my life. 

I spent the next three weeks working and staying busy. Grateful to be in the city of Angels, whether those angels were in the sky or fallen was none of my business, I felt alive but I had this feeling that I needed to change something about my life. I made a decision to let go of toxicity and one night, I prayed to God to release me of what I no longer needed on my road to truth and prosperity. 

A few days after my prayer, there was a mandate ordered for Yoga studios to shut down and therefore, I would be out of partial work as I teach at different yoga studios. The next day I was doing a tarot reading on myself and I pulled a card that said, ‘What are you clinging on to?’ I knew what it was but was too stubborn to admit that there was people and things that were not a part of the life that I wanted. 

As always, there is nothing that I regret. It took this for me to be here now and the present is the best place I will ever be. 

Here are 3 things that I wish I’d known before Quarantine: 

1. You’ll be okay. 

These past three months have been the hardest time of my life. I have always been an independent and self-sufficient person who has been able to talk, smile or outwit myself out of any situation until this. It went from being two weeks, to a month and then suddenly three months. I went from seeing this as a blessing to crying on my bedroom floor while listening to gospel music. I have had to take each moment day-by-day. 

For the first time in my life, I have been late on my rent by no fault of my own and the feeling of shame has been overwhelming sometimes. The feeling of being in a situation because of something you have no control over has created a different kind of faith and hope that I didn’t know possible. Sure, sometimes I am angry, lost and confused but then I look to God, pray, breathe and remember that everything will be okay because it has been okay. If I have my life, my health, my mind and my soul, I am flourishing. 

2. Get ready to leave behind the old you. 

I have spent my life feeling like an outsider. I always joke that it’s because I am an Aquarius and we are known for that but in truth that was to mask the pain that came from feeling misunderstood a lot of the time. I believe firmly in independent-thinking and I was not raised in a society that allowed that so I was shunned a lot and told to keep quiet for asking questions or thinking differently. Because of this, I developed a thinking that I couldn’t really say how I felt. So, in my earlier years, I would catch myself lying when I wanted to tell the truth, keeping quiet when I wanted to scream and hurting myself instead of releasing my anger in a healthy way. 

Over the years that old façade of me has slowly bee dissipating and eventually was forced to leave my life when I came back from South Africa and noticed how different I was to lifelong friends and family. Some of them didn’t want to hear what I had to say, would flake on me or shame me for wanting to know the truth. I couldn’t hold on any longer. The old me was okay with sacrificing what I had to say to be liked but the new me can’t- just can’t. No matter who hates me, who won’t speak to me again or who thinks I am the worst person alive. I am done playing a role of someone who I am not. I am me: unfiltered, non-PC, sometimes offensive but is trying to be a good person and I am done trying to fit into a mould to be accepted and loved. 

3. Let go of control. 

In my entire life, I have never cried as much as I have in these past three months. I’ve cried tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of anxiety, tears of gratitude, tears of confusion and tears of sadness. In all of my emotional phases, I have had to let go of being in control. 

I admit to being a control freak and it has been something that I have been working on in therapy over the past decade. I have had to learn that control does not equate to power. A hard yet powerful message. For the first time, all the things that I was able to do to remain in control have been taken from me and I have had to redefine what power means. I’m not sure that I know the answer but I do know that holding onto something tightly so that it never leaves is not because of power but it is because of fear. My internal powerful voice knows that what is meant for me will never go, will leave and come back or, had it’s purpose once upon a time. 

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3 Things that I wish I’d known about anger before I became an adult.

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I have spent a lot of time being angry. In retrospect, who knows if it was warranted or not; however, I do know that most of my anger was a waste of my time. I’m not saying that being angry isn’t natural; however, I am also saying that the mindset of someone who is angry is limited because when we are angry, our focus is like a bull with a red target and we forget to appreciate what is around us. 

Over the years, I have learnt how to calmly my anger down or acknowledge it and then move forward from it. 
Here are 3 things I wish I’d known about anger before I became an adult: 

1. Don’t let anger get in the way of your future. 

My teenage years and early twenties were spent being angry and full of rage. Even though, for the most part, I perceived myself to be happy and put well together, I had a lot of inner anger. Now that I have grown, I can sum up being angry as a result of how I felt I was treated by men. In my mind, I was a victim and therefore I had a right to be angry at how men had treated me throughout my life. 

Little did I know is that all that anger was only hurting me. 8 years ago, I decided to leave my anger behind because I noticed how it was self-inflicted and stopping me from achieving anything valuable in my life. Once I released my anger, I noticed a big shift in my life. I went from being a perpetual victim to a victor and took a stand in the right direction towards healing and forgiveness. 

2. Anger triggers our bodies’ stress receptors. I am a yoga teacher and spiritual guide. What I have learnt in myself and others is that being angry releases stress receptors into our bodies and creates inflammation which internally has tremendous negative effects on our health.

One of the foundations of yoga is calming the body down to unify it with our mind and soul. I noticed that anger stopped me from unifying my body and took it out of its natural state: well-being. When we are at peace, our bodies can do what they are meant to do without being bombarded by fear and anger.

 3. The best way to have control is to be at peace about something. One of the most fundamental turning points of when I was in my twenties is when I decided to stop blaming men for the reason why my relationships had not been working out. You see, I had adopted the toxic female ideology that all men are bad and it created deep anger within me and it blocked any man coming into my life because I was convinced that all were bad.

So even if a good and wholesome man entered my life, I was stuck on being angry and dating men who triggered this emotion in me. After this moment of realization, I have had my angry moments yes! However, I can feel my anger arise and choose if I want to partake in it or not. Sometimes anger is useful but being angry all the time is not the direction of where I want my life to be in. I want to aim for peace and surrender so that I can leave situations knowing that there is only so much I can do and I leave the rest up to God. 

9 Choses que j'apprends.

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L'une des plus grandes choses que je dois admettre en tant qu'adulte est la façon dont nous avons été conditionnés pour penser d'une certaine manière. Ce qui devient évident lorsque quelqu'un qui ne pense pas comme les masses exprime son opinion. Ils sont souvent accueillis avec rage, jugement et critique. C'est très inutile.

Bien que je n'aie pas toujours agi sur ce point, je crois en l'individualisme et à la pensée critique, car ce qui fonctionne pour vous peut ne pas fonctionner pour un autre. Dans la société occidentale, nous avons le choix de nous responsabiliser avec nos pensées et nos actions. Parfois, nous oublions cela.

J'ai appris beaucoup de choses, mais voici seulement 9 d'entre elles:

1. Ce qui me convient n'a pas besoin d'être approuvé par quelqu'un d'autre.

2. C'est à moi de faire ce dont j'ai besoin.

3. Attendre qu'une autre personne me voie ou me valide est une perte de temps.

4. Réagir à une personne négative donne à l'autre le pouvoir.

5. Tout le monde ne comprend pas la valeur de la paix.

6. La croissance est toujours possible. Je dois juste le faire étape par étape.

7. Parfois, la santé est un effort physique, oui! Mais, parfois, il abandonne des personnes qui ont laissé le poison et la peur les contrôler.

8. Faites confiance à ce que vous savez. Pas ce qui vous a été forcé à la gorge.

9. Nous ne pouvons atteindre notre plein potentiel qu'en guérissant de l'intérieur vers l'extérieur.

What I wish I’d known about these 3 types of personalities.

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Life is a journey and we are dealt with cards that we can either use to advantage us or work against us. You might have heard this analogy often. But what does this mean? To me, it means that I will make the best of life no matter what is thrown at me. I will work hard, think smart and do what I can to be my best, regardless of where I have come from, the colour of my skin or being born a woman because my power is in my hands. 

Having this mindset has gotten me into a lot of hot water. I admit to not always being sensitive and compassionate in some areas- which I am working on. However, I have learnt that there are personality types that would rather whine than work, complain rather than correct and, defy true freedom rather than define it for themselves. 

I am learning more and more as I go and mostly, that you can’t help those who do not want to be helped. 

Here is more of what I wish I had known about these 3 types of personalities: 

1. Those who refuse to grow. 

Growth is optional and the older that I get, the more that I can clearly differentiate the difference between people who make an effort to evolve vs. those who stay stagnant. I was one of those people who felt like I could stay the same and that nothing would change me or my view on life. But, I quickly learnt that I would only hurt myself  if I was not open to seeing life from a different perspective. 

Refusing to grow works against the cycle of our lives. Just like trees shed leaves, we are meant to shed a part of our personality and acquire another. That is evolving. Understanding what works and what doesn’t. If we don’t evolve and figure out what isn’t working for us, we only hurt ourselves because we are recreating the same life, over and over and expecting different results. Which is a form of insanity. 

2. Those who blame what has happened to them on other people. 

A friend shared a quote on Instagram that said, ‘The World might be responsible for your pain but, you are responsible for your own healing.’ And, it resonated with me deeply. I recounted the amount of times that I had blamed things on being a woman, a person of colour or being raised in a developing country. Then, I remembered how good it felt to be empowered anyway.

Despite what my ancestors (regardless of heritage) had experienced, I am here today. That is proof that more is going right than not. The power is in using what I thought were my disadvantages as my advantages. I connect with people who feel isolated because I once did and I understand fully that isolation is sometimes external but is usually self-imposed. 

We can spend our time blaming or work to being whole and full of love. It might be unfair, yes! But, who loses if we don’t? Definitely not the person we blame, we do. 

3. People who will never be happy with me. 

I used to suffer deeply from the need to make people around me happy. When I became self-aware of this, I thought that it was to save the person that I wanted to make happy. However, I came to realize that it was to serve me and my Ego. 

You see, if I had to be around someone who wasn’t pleased with me, I felt badly because I wanted to appear like a good person. Over the past decade, I have been healing this part of myself. The side that wants to appear ‘good’ because I have learnt that if I am living truthfully, not everyone will be happy with me. 

I have had to learn that some people won’t like me, especially when I am not following the crowds and stand up for what is moral and in alignment with God’s word. It is not my job to be liked and releasing myself of the need to be held hostage by other people’s opinions is liberating. I might go through life never being understood by others but as long as I live a life that praises God, is ethically sound and health-orientated, I don’t have to look to others for acceptance. I can look within for all the embrace that I will ever need. 

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9 More reasons to forgive.

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To say that these times have been challenging, is merely just touching the surface. They have been an array of different emotions, thoughts actions- for me. In the midst of this process, I have come to some resolutions and conclusions about certain areas of my life. 

The focus of my career, who I surround myself with and if I am doing my best to stand firm in my truth. The answers that have shown up definitely vary. But, one thing is for certain, I made a clear decision to let go of people and things where it wasn’t reciprocal. I try my best to be understanding and compassionate, I may not always get it right but we are all allowed to create a life we deserve. That is not selfish or narcissistic, it is clear boundaries. 

In the spirit of doing this, I have decided to forgive. Forgive myself and others because that, to me, is the foundation of spirituality and growth. 

Here are 9 reasons why I forgive: 

1. I forgive because I want to create positivity in This World. 

2. I forgive because the past is over and, it may hurt sometimes, but it doesn’t depict my future unless I let it. 

3. I forgive because not everyone is meant to be on my level. Vice versa. 

4. I forgive because some people may not have my intentions at heart but that is not my business. 

5. I forgive because my elevation is my choice. 

6. I forgive because I deserve to be surrounded by people who care for me as much I care about them. 

7. I forgive because waiting for an apology is a waste of time. 

8. I forgive because I can’t control the uncontrollable. 

9. I forgive because there is nothing more powerful than peace.

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9 Ways to protect your energy.

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Ever since I was a young girl, I have always felt a connection to God. This connection has been my life source and I am grateful for it because it has gotten me through challenging times when people had failed me, my life wasn’t going as expecting and I was being tried. 

The older that I get, the more that I clearly realize that not all spirituality is light and in connection with God. Some forms of spirituality is darkness and unites with other forces. 

That is a whole other topic that I will touch on one day. But, something that is apparent is that (for some reason) most people find it challenging to do the right thing, have integrity and make sure that things are done properly. To me, the proper way of accessing spirituality and abundance is through light because what we put out always comes back to us. 

When you put out light, you will notice that darkness challenges you. However, light always wins. 

Here are 9 ways to protect your energy if you are spirituality connected to light: 

1. Be connected to God/ Source/ The Divine. 

2. Be proud of your connection with God. 

3. Use crystal healing. For protection, an amethyst or clear quartz wand. 

4. Listen to your intuition. If someone is in your realm that seems like they are harmful, pay attention! Don’t write off someone as lost. 

5. Pray. I pray twice a day to God and God alone. 

6. Call on The Archangels, they work with God. For protection, most specifically, Angel Michael. 

7. Meditate. This helps you relax and vibrate on a frequency that is in alignment with The Universe. 

8. Cut negativity out of your life. We all go through negative times in our life but what is around us, we absorb. No matter how strong we are because it is about energy. 

9. Burn candles, incense, sage and palo santo. Throughout history, burning these helps ward of dark spirits. 

3 Reasons why I don’t look up to celebrities, Gurus or SuperYogis to be my saviour.

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I’ve lived in three different major cities where celebrities and well-known people reside: London, New York and (now) Los Angeles. Interestingly, each city approaches and deals with famous people differently. 

In London, the average person couldn’t be bothered. Similarly in New York. However, in Los Angels, there is a culture that is celebrity-focused and applauding. Might be because of Hollywood; however, it is apparent here that people of fame stature are treated above others. 

Although I have dated a few well-known people and am sometimes fascinated by the culture of people who believe that they are above others, I have rarely been influenced or aspired to be like a celebrity. 

Yes, I have (and still) admire what some people who have acquired success in their own field represent. But, that is not just in one industry; it is in all industries. 

Here are 3 reasons that I don’t look up to Celebrities, Gurus and SuperYogis to be my saviour: 

1. Most of them are out of touch. 

When I remember one of my family members, who was famous in South Africa, I have memories of how she had to run from people to feel like her true self. This left an impression on me for the rest of my life. You see, I have always loved to sing but detested what came with it. My family member showed me this: shady contracts, untrustworthy people and the need to always be number one. 

When I was in a relationship with a well-known Producer, I was given a taste of this again. He could never let his guard down because he had to keep up an image/persona that was contrary to who he was. His battle between who he perceived to be and is, created a struggle and (in my opinion) he lost touch of why he started making music in the first place. 

Although many famous people make themselves seem relatable; the average person shares very little with them. Which is okay. After meeting and dating some well-known people, I have learnt that I have almost nothing in common with them. I would rather look up to people that I can genuinely relate to and speak of their character from an authentic place; rather than an image that is portrayed to The World through campaigns and media. 

2. Hard work is often not rewarded through a paycheck. 

I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most hardworking people in my life and most of them have not been recognized or well-known. This does not mean that famous people don’t work hard; it just means that sometimes we look past the average worker when they can be more inspiring than someone who is on the cover of a magazine. 

I have had the privilege of working many different jobs and meeting the person who cleans toilets, picks up after other people and manages a bunch of staff without the recognition that they deserve but with a big smile on their face are the people that I admire and look up to for hope. 

One of the most distinctive memories that I have of my junior school was greeting one of Our Gardeners who always had a smile on his face. Every morning, he would grace me with his white and pearly smile and it gave me hope and inspired me to always stay positive. It has left an imprint on my life and I will always remember him as an inspiration to me. 

3. I want a simple life. 

I have been very vocal and literary expressive about when I decided to leave the music industry. My experience was that I had to change to be able to do what I can do naturally, sing. I believe in evolution; however, I don’t believe in changing my authentic self to appease others. Which is a contradiction to what some Publicists and Producers told me would get me recognized for my work. I had one Producer tell me that most people who are famous can’t sing well, it is about image. It was then that I promised to remain authentic to myself and the people that I loved. 

I left the industry and began to do some serious soul-searching and healing. 8 years later, I am grateful to be exactly where I am. In society’s eyes, I may not be as worthy as someone like Kylie Jenner or another extremely rich person who is a young adult. But, I have my dignity, pride and I can walk in a park and get lost in my imagination without being recognized or noticed. I notice myself and love myself, that is what I value more than false recognition based off of an image, money and what I can do for others.

My life is simple and I like it this way. 

Dear Body,

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Dear Body, 

Thank you for being there for me, particularly when I wasn’t there for you. We’ve come a long way together and after all this time, I am so grateful that you are healthy and that you forgave me for what I put you through before. 

It took me learning how I had been conditioned to look a certain way to break that chain and appreciate you. You stuck around, loving me unconditionally. 

I still have some thoughts of how you can be different but I check myself because I know your purpose. You keep me alive, strong and able to fulfill my purpose. So, I will do the same for you. 

Body, I promise to love you unconditionally. Especially when it is not easy to do so. When I’ve eaten almost a ton of pancakes, over-indulged on some wine and can’t get to a yoga studio or workout that day or the next, I will still love you because we are both doing our best and this journey of life. 

9 Affirmations to stabilize fear.

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With all the fear in the atmosphere regarding being quarantined and not being able to work and have a regular a regular schedule, I feel that it is necessary to not allow this energy to lower our vibration. 

We have come so far as a collective to not go back to a time when yes, we had things to worry about. But, we used it as ammunition to spread hate, animosity and lack of community. This is not a time to panic and worry. It is a time to reflect. Sometimes situations like this are sent to us to ground us, help us find gratitude and question how we got there in the first place. 

We all know that fear creates stress and this thinking has an effect on our immune system. 

So, instead of freaking out, let’s a moment to place our hands on our hearts, light a candle, incense, nurture ourselves and each other. 

Here are 9 affirmations that help stabilize fear: 

1. ‘Everything is always working out in my favour’- taken from Abraham Hicks meditation. Sometimes our favour might not be how we imagined it to be. 

2. I am in the flow of allowing and letting go. 

3. I am done holding onto things that want to leave my life. 

4. What is going right? 

5. How can I find gratitude? 

6. Thy will be done whether I am at peace with it or not. Being at peace with it makes my life easier. 

7. Change is constant.

8. How can I be a blessing? 

9. My life is too precious to spend worrying about something that I have little control over. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. Virgo Full moon affirmation 2020

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I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He is in the form of someone who genuinely likes me. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He is not afraid to speak to me and let me in to his life. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He lets me in on what is going on his life, so that I don’t have to guess. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

We have created a bond based on honesty, kindness and respect. One that no one can come in-between. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

We support one another and choose peace and unity everyday. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect. 

He takes responsibility for what he needs to in our relationship. 

I have hope that I will find true love and respect.

There is no need to manipulate either of each other because what we have is authentic and meant to be.

Traits of the emotionally immature and mature zodiac sun signs.

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As I have touched on this before, every Zodiac sign has it’s emotional immature aspect and once they work on what they need to, they can emotionally evolve into their best selves. No person is immune to this. It is a part of the human experience to learn and grow, we only become stuck when we focus on blaming others and put responsibility on others to do the work for us. 

Astrology is a map that can guide us to what we need to work on within ourselves. If this doesn’t resonate, it is not for you. This article is for those that this aligns with because even though you might be one sun sign, you have other elements in your birth chart that can affect your emotions, communication, how you love, appear to the world and how you represent yourself at different phases in your life. 

Here are traits of the emotionally immature and mature sun signs of the zodiac:

•Immature Aries ♈️:

Needs to be number one, impatient and is obsessed with material worth and possessions.

Mature Aries: 

Natural leader, naturally encourages other people to thrive and do well. Focusing on what people can offer them that isn’t based on money.

•Immature Taurus ♉️:

Sees things in black&white, lacks compassion and stubborn. 

Mature Taurus: 

Patient, driven and mentally strong. 

•Immature Gemini ♊️:

Behaves like a teenager, impatient and emotionally inconsistent. 

Mature Gemini: 

Creative, great communicator and sees both sides of a situation with judgement. 

•Immature Cancer ♋️:

Thinks the world is out to get them, overly defensive and thinks in a linear fashion. 

Mature Cancer: 

Opens up to people, speaks from a place of boundaries; not vengeance and, doesn’t jump to conclusions. 

•Immature Leo ♌️:

Has difficulty processing emotions, needing to be the centre of attention and has difficulty being vulnerable. 

Mature Leo: 

Is vulnerable with their ‘weak’ emotions too, accepts that they don’t always have to strong and is compassionate to those who aren’t always at their peak. 

•Immature Virgo ♍️:

Only thinks about work, avoids human interaction and comes across passive aggressive. 

Mature Virgo: 

Deals with people in a humane, acknowledges that they are not always right and brings health to the mainstream. 

•Immature Libra ♎️ :

Irritable, indecisiveness and projects internal conflict onto others. 

Mature Libra: 

Balances their emotions out through meditation, has let go of the need to be right and listens to others. 

•Immature Scorpio ♏️:

Thrives on vengefulness, seeks out drama to prove dominance and highly obsessive. 

Mature Scorpio: 

Accesses and transforms their deep emotions to help others heal of suffering, let’s go of the need to get others back and doesn’t take things personally. 

•Immature Sagittarius ♐️:

Looks at life as a playground, lacks loyalty and compassion.

•Mature Sagittarius: 

Explores diversity, is consistent and understands that if they want consistency, they have to create it in their own lives first. 

•Immature Capricorn ♑️: 

Cold, social-climber and believes in hierarchy. 

Mature Capricorn: 

Practices humility by doing tedious things, enjoys daily activities and let’s go of the need to prove who they are through work. 

•Immature Aquarius ♒️:

Arrogant, bully and thinks that everyone else is lower than they are. 

Mature Aquarius: 

Shows their emotions, practices compassion and can self-reflect with acknowledgement that they made mistakes like everyone else. 

•Immature Pisces ♓️:

Takes everything personally, controls others by doing things for them and jaded from the past. 

Mature Pisces: 

Meditates on positivity, aligns themself with supportive people who want the best for them and turns pain into wisdom. 

Ukuze ufike kimi.

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Kwangithatha ukwakha ukuzindla nsuku zonke nokuzilolonga ngokomoya Ukuze ufike kimi

Kwangithatha ukwamukela ukuthi ngihlukile futhi ngihlose ukuba njalo Ukuze ufike kimi

Kungithathe ngamukele inhloso yami kanye nocingo Ukuze ufike kimi

Kungithathe ngasondelana nabantu abangisekelayo, abanobubele nabaqondayo Ukuze ufike kimi

Kungithathe isikhathi ngivuma ukuthi akuyena wonke umuntu ozongithanda futhi ngeke ngithande wonke umuntu Ukuze ufike kimi

Kungithathe ukukhulula imicabango esekwe ngokwesaba Ukuze ufike kimi

Kungithathe ukuzivumela ukuthi ngikhanye Ukuze ufike kimi

Kungithathe ukuzikhumbuza ukuthi ngihambisane nobuningi Ukuze ufike kimi

9 Things that I know for sure about haters.

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We have all been, are or know someone who is a hater. Someone who is attracted to drama, loves to complain, is insecure or doesn’t believe in being positive. I have been both the hater and have come into contact with other people who have hated. Only to realize that when I was a hater, it had nothing to do with anyone else but me. I had some serious healing- which I did and am still doing. 

The biggest shift that I had which took me out of a low-vibrational frequency of negativity was to understand and know that I am love and am worthy of anything that I have ever wanted, and so is everyone else. There is enough for everyone so I don’t have to be jealous and angry when someone else is doing well or is thriving.

Whenever I encounter a hater these days, I try to practice compassion because I know what it feels to be in that position. I have learnt that I can still have my boundaries up and practice compassion from a distance because how they behave has nothing to do with me. Being hateful is a symptom of lack of self-awareness, kindness, understanding, compassion and empathy. 

Here are 9 things that I am sure of about haters: 

1. We have all been a hater at some point in our lives. 

2. Living life from a negative point of view only affects the person who sees it this way. 

3. Stepping out of a hateful mindset takes worth and effort but the end result is worth it. 

4. Hateful people are suffering and want to spread that feeling to others. 

5. Some people don’t mean well for you. 

6. Haters are only at war with themselves. 

7. You will never win an argument or situation with someone who is dead set on being negative. Sometimes the best boundary is distance and letting go. 

8. We can influence haters but it is up to them to change. 

9. It is okay and beneficial to put up boundaries towards people who don’t mean well for you. 

5 negative behaviours that I refuse to spend time on.

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When I look back on how I've dealt with difficult times in the past, I realize that I've spent a lot of wasted time on negative mindsets that haven't helped me progress. In fact, they did the opposite. I complicated many simple situations by overthinking, analyzing and ignoring signs that were right in front of me.

So I came up with a list of five negative behaviors that I wasted time indulging, and I won't waste time on them again:

1. Believing people who have insulted me.

We live in a wonderful world, but most of us have been hurt. People who have been hurt and cannot move past the hurt will try to hurt others, either intentionally or unintentionally. I've wasted a lot of time believing hurt people's insults, never realizing that people who were ready to insult me were ready to insult others too. Insults are rarely about the person who's being insulted; they're more about the person doing the insulting.

2. Convincing someone to love me.

I wasted time trying to convince a former partner of mine to love me. All that time spent waiting for him to call me back, hinting at him to buy me flowers and waiting for him to see how grateful he should've been to have me could've been spent on someone who genuinely appreciates me. Not only was I wasting time, but I was also subconsciously telling myself that I wasn't worth being loved. Ultimately, every single person is worth being loved.

3. Beating myself up about the past.

Whatever has happened is done. I used to spend a lot of time wanting to change what my behavior in the past. The clock moves forward, and wanting to change what has happened is impossible. All that time spent on looking in the past can be used to help me progress in my future. The future is something I can actually do something about.

4. Judging people on the decisions they've made.

I won't be happy with some people's decisions, and that's OK. I don't have to live with the consequences their own actions — they do. Time spent criticizing and judging someone else's decisions is time truly wasted. That time could have been used to help me progress in my own life. I can't control what others have done with their own lives, so there's no need to judge them based on my expectations and views on life.

5. Excusing selfish behavior.

I once had a friend who behaved in a way that seemed like she thought life was all about her. She would call me or want to see me only when she needed me to be there for her; however, when I asked the same from her, she would disappear. I wasted a lot of time convincing myself that she didn't intend to be selfish, and I excused her behavior because I feared losing a friend. After it all, I did lose her as a friend, and all that time I spent convincing myself that she wasn't being selfish could've been used on appreciating a friend who actually isn't selfish and gives me back what I give them.

Lets celebrate life by being good to us

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Let's celebrate life by being good to us.                                                                                         By waking up grateful at the mere fact that you have learnt at least one more thing than you knew yesterday.

Let's celebrate life by being good to us.
By realizing that your perception of your day and life have an affect on the progression. For, the more we focus on the things that aren't there, we forget those that are.

Let's celebrate life by being good to us. 
By accepting that when someone is unkind to you, they are doing you a favour. You have the ability to strengthen, learn and grow- what a blessing!

Let's celebrate life by being good to us. 
By forgiving a situation that hurt you, you probably won't be hurt that way again. So why dwell on the hurting? When you have the perfect time to heal what has been hurt.

Let's celebrate life by being good to us.                                                                                       No one else has your name, your face and your body. Your skin is too beautiful to wear uncomfortably.

Let's celebrate life by being good to us.                                                                                         As we are our own Best Friends. who can treat you better than the person you spend the most time with? Yourself.

4 self-affirmations to self-love.

I am a firm-believer in loving yourself. As a society, we used to be afraid to give ourselves praise and appreciation. However, I am learning that the best relationship that we have is with ourselves. Because we spend the most time with ourselves. 

Also, if we don't love ourselves, we put pressure on other people to do so. And, if we don't love ourselves, who will? It is important to affirm yourself a few times a day so that when other people don't need, you can reassure yourself. 

Here are some affirmations to tell yourself daily:

1. You are enough

The first time that I heard this affirmation, I was in a yoga class. I had just spent the day worrying about money and wasn't feeling great about myself. I felt helpless. As I heard these words, I thought about ny body, my mind and my breathe- all working together to keep me alive. I decided at that moment that I may not be rich but I am certainly wealthy. I have a healthy body, healthy mind and I can take a breath in and out. I am enough. 

2. Elevate yourself.

The truth is that the world can bring us down sometimes. We all feel like we're struggling sometimes and feel inadequate but it is important to step out of a negative mindset and elevate yourself. Know that there will be better and what you are going through is temporary and everything passes- no matter how bad it seems. So elevate yourself above the situation by remembering that there is always a way out, whether it is physical or mental.

3. I choose things and people that serve me.

For some reason, we feel like we have to suffer and completely give ourselves in relationships and jobs. I do partially agree with this; however, if that job or person you are in a relationship hasn't made you feel respected or happy in a while, feel free to leave that chapter of your life behind you. People and jobs are irreplaceable, yes. However, there is no point in being surrounded by negativity.

4. I forgive myself.

Yes, forgive yourself! Forgive yourself for when you told your Mother that you hated her. Forgive yourself for being mean to Nancy in the fifth grade. Forgive yourself for getting so drunk that you threw up when you were 21. Forgive yourself for drunkenly texting your unrequited love 6 times a night. Forgive yourself for everything that brings you any amount of guilt. Because guilt only brings you down. Forgive yourself because you didn't know better and next time, you will do better.